The mountain will always test you
The third week of archery season was upon us at Upper Canyon Outfitters. I was able to spend the first week hunting with Sean, and then guided a hunter the second week. I had accumulated nearly 100 miles already. My body was feeling strong, as my clients from Iowa and I hiked 15 miles that first day. Their long legs were like a pogo sticks as they bounded up the mountain. We spent the first couple days covering ground as we looked for fresh sign and listened for bugles. I was hopeful we would locate one but all the sign was a week old. With so much feed this year the elk had a much larger range of habitat and to top it off, the amount of public land hunters that swarmed the mountains reached records high. It was tough hunting. The elk were still not in rut, but in some places they were. I figured if we hiked enough, sooner or later we will run into one.
It was a warm, slow afternoon. As we napped in the warm sunshine, our bored feet decided to make a stalk on a few mule deer we had seen up high that morning. The tall grass and soft ground gave us resistance as we trekked up and up. Finally we reached the highest point and as I look behind me I seen a cow and spike elk below us. Quickly sitting down to avoid being skilined, we glassed and waited to see if there was a bull. We watched to see where they were feeding and where they were bedded. Before I just run down there in hopes of calling one in, I wanted to make sure we weren't going to bump into some on the way there. I came up with a plan and we started the descent down the mountain.
Reaching the thicket of young aspens and scattered pine trees, there was fresh elk sign everywhere. Ever so slowly we crept through the timber, watching our steps as we went. The binoculars sat ready on our chest as we would scan the timber, and then move forward. I thought we were going to bump into a herd but luckily we made it to the other edge without spooking any elk.
Located below the timber we just walked through, laid out a lush and giant meadow. On the far edge five pockets of timber came out. The elk we had seen from up high were in the far left timber strip. Like three ninjas we made quick and quiet work of getting in close. We could smell them, and then boom, we bump into a herd. They run off and we keep moving towards the south. Checking the wind I let out a few lost mews. In return a bugle blast in our faces! “The rut is on here!!” I tell my clients, a grin covering my face. “Let’s get this bull!”
Being in the presence of a bugling bull, or any wildlife is truly a special experience. These animals live in the mountains we climb 24/7. They are constantly aware, for if they are not, the predators would have full bellies. And here we were, in a screaming match with what sounded like a dinosaur. He was getting closer. Picking up a dead stick from the ground, I rake the tree I’m hiding next to. Suddenly he is another 50 yards closer, screaming his head off as he’s coming in. A high comes over me, unlike any other high I’ve experienced. It felt primal and grounding. Scanning ahead a cow walks ten yards from my client, and stops. Why isn't he shooting?! He just told me he would shoot a cow!! And just like that I felt the wind shift, and they were instantly off. Kicking up dirt under their hooves, their giant bodies ran so quietly through the timber.
Catching up to my client and I asked him why he didn’t shoot. He informed me that he was kneeling down and couldn't see the cow because of the trees that were blocking his view up the hill from him. No shots were taken but the high was enough to keep us smiling and getting up early the next day to do it again.
It was day five, the last day of the hunt. As a guide, I guarantee you I want the animal more than the client does. But it doesn't always happen, and that's okay. It’s to be expected. Our bodies were feeling tired, and our eyes heavy as we hiked up the bottom of a drainage. This is when my mind started testing me. I was so tired. My body, my mind and my spirit. I pushed through it and perhaps the bugle we heard at 6am had something to do about that. The morning was filled with chasing bugles, but the howling wind made it tough to hear anything, or get in close. These elk are incredibly smart. They will position themselves on the mountain where they have everything to their advantage. Being able to see, smell, and hear right from their beds. Making it nearly impossible to get in close, especially when there are three of you.
After trying to get in close on this bull we clearly were failing. In the meantime we spotted another herd on the ridge across from us. Let’s go!! I tell my clients.
Cold wind blasted through the bottom of the hillsides, as a storm was brewing just to our east. The wind was blowing all over the place, bringing our sweaty scent with it. We bumped a herd as we made our way up through the lodge pines. I instantly was pissed at myself. Draya, you can do better. I was starting to notice the negative thoughts occurring more in the past couple days. Memories of hunting with my family filled my mind, and I wondered if any of them had any luck yet this archery season. For the first time in my entire life, I received zero text or calls from my family during hunting season. In the past seasons my brother would always send me a text asking how guide season was going, and if I too was lucky yet. Anytime anyone would harvest something, I always got a photo of it from dad. This year was different. There were no pictures, no inquiries, nothing. Hunting was that one thing that used to hold us all together. It was the glue and the common denominator.
Wake Up Draya!! Focus!! I told myself as I shook off the negative thoughts. These thoughts tended to consume me, causing me to become distracted from the task at hand. With a few big breaths, I would be able to pull myself from the self loathing and return to the moment.
The rain started to fall heavily and soon we couldn't see any further than 100 yards. We were socked in. Grabbing my tarp from my pack we string it up in an A-frame style structure between several trees. I build a small fire to help keep the chill off our backs.
The conversation is minimal as heavy eyes fill our faces. Feeling the effects of long days on the mountains we all cozy up under the tarp. The time seems to fly by and soon the clouds seem to be lifting a bit. I grab my bulge tube and run up the mountain to see if I can locate a bull close by. Several grouse fly up to the trees, startling me in my tracks.
The landscape is slowly revealed as the clouds move quickly through the drainage in front of me. I gasp as meadows high on the mountain are exposed bit by bit. My heart beats with excitement, as I am seeing this landscape for the very first time. I call out and listen, but hear nothing. As pockets of the mountain are exposed, I intently look out with my binoculars. I soak it in, feeling alive and connected something powerful, and bigger than I can ever comprehend. After a while of listening and glassing, everything is quiet so I make my way back to my clients.
We pack up the tarp, put out the fire and start hiking towards the top of the ridge. As we move along the spine of the ridge, we scan with our binoculars and listen. Seeing the horizon lines of several elk backs, we watch them just ahead of us in the timber. We watch them for the while, the wind in our favor and soon they start to get up. They shake the rain off their bodies and one by one they disappear into the thick timber on the side of the ridge. So we move on in hopes we can get back on them at some point that evening.
After climbing for another half hour we reach a spot called, “Joe’s Camp”. Big flat boulders were scattered around a fireplace. Two old cooling racks were layered in the stones that made up the fire pit for cooking a meal. Rocks and logs were stacked up in the space between three big furs, creating a wind block. With giddy smiles on the faces of my clients, they wasted no time finding firewood to toss onto the fire. As a team the three of us went to work gathering and soon we had a fire to warm our cold hands and toes. We devoured our sandwiches and several other snacks and I wished I would have brought more food.
Sitting on the side of the mountain, my elbows are resting on my knees as I look out through my binoculars. There has to be elk in here, I think to myself over and over. The landscape I study is not easy country to navigate, and to be honest it looked a bit intimidating. Small meadows were scattered about and my gut told me soon they would appear. Just keep looking. And just like that a herd of elk come running across one of the meadows. Following the cows a bull brings up the rear. There’s no time to waste, we pack up our gear, throw our packs on and the pursuit begins.
There are moments us hunters experience where all doubt is out the window. We become consumed in the primal state of surviving. I felt confident as we stayed tucked in the timber and made our way straight up the steep timbered mountain. Fresh elk tracks and scat littered the hillside. Some tracks indicated a running elk, which told me a bull elk could have been chasing cows in this exact spot not too long ago. My senses were in full alert and I felt confident about our stalk.
Then, out of nowhere I question my judgment. Pulling up my OnX maps I shake my head thinking we were headed in the wrong direction. I felt myself questioning my doubts that suddenly surfaced but for some reason, I decided to keep moving on.
“Isn't this the meadow we saw them in?” My client questions me. Shaking my head I tell him, “no, it's just a bit further.”
As we crested the spine of the ridge, I looked out at a vast canyon of cliffs and steep timbered mountainsides. Shit, I tell myself. My client was right. We walked right past where the elk were and this clearly is not the direction we should be going…. We had walked right past where we first seen the elk. I had just ruined this hunt.
In the excitement of the hunt I got mixed up on which meadow we were working towards. Thinking back I should have made a waypoint on the meadow we first saw the elk on. I should have slowed down and accessed the situation.
Realizing the mistake I just made I am instantly angry and disappointed in myself. “You should be better. You messed up your clients hunt. It’s the last day and you ruined it for your clients….. I should be better. I should quit guiding, they are going to leave a bad review……”
I wallowed in my self pity as we hiked back through where we just came from. I felt deflated. Exhausted. I felt like a failure and then the tears started coming…. I couldn't stop them, and I tried like hell to because I didn't want to be “that guide” that couldn't hold it together. But I was struggling real hard to do just that and the tears continued to fall. I knew we wouldn't catch up with the elk, and the reality set in that the hunt was over. Steam pillowed off our bodies as we all took off a layer. I couldn't bring myself to look at them, or to apologize. I was so embarrassed.
“Draya, you good?” My client asks. I tried my hardest to hide my emotions but I was powerless. I shake my head and I tell him, “no.”
Get our shit together Draya!! What the hell is going on!!!! My insecurities were screaming loud and guess what, my clients were the ones to bring me back down. Back to center. The father of the son who held the elk tag stopped me in my tracks, grabbed my shoulder and told me, “Draya, we are not here to kill an animal. This hunt isn't about harvesting an animal. It’s about so much more. Yeah, if we were to harvest an elk, then that's the icing on the cake. Listen, Draya, you are a good guide. We have had the best week with you. We have learned so much, we have seen some beautiful country, and have been among the animals almost every day. We couldn't ask for more…. Let’s go back to the lodge, shower and have a drink and enjoy the memories from the week.”
The three of us huddle together for a hug, as I let out my final tears of self pity. The other client, the son, the one who held the elk tag, he tells me, “Draya you are a good guide. This hunt was everything we were hoping for. It’s okay, we all make mistakes….. We forgive you.”
